Aye ye ye ye, I am the Frio Bandito!! (River P.4)

The sun was shinning and my morning wood was starting to fade away. I awoke suddenly when I heard a loud banging sound coming from the kitchen. I slid on pajamas and slowly opened the door. Like a culinary ballet Carl and Mandy seemed to maneuver and dance with each other as they prepared breakfast for us all. The look in Carl’s eyes said, “I would rather be doing this naked”…. or maybe that was just me. The human body only needs two hours sleep to function anyway. Right? I grabbed a plate and started to eat!
After a trip to pick up tubes and herding everyone into the appointed cars we were off!
We arrived at the river and everyone sluggishly moseyed out of their cars and congregated around Carl’s golden Lexus. Like worshiping a primitive god they waited for their high priest to speak…I was pulling the coolers out of my trunk. Carl came around to face the huddled masses and one couldn’t help but notice the lost and confused look on their faces. Much like Moses leading his people Carl raised his left are and commanded “TO THE RIVER”…and the people moved...or maybe I was half asleep. After a brief but effective re-orchestration of cooler contents everyone started to head for water. We needed a car to drive back up to the top of the river and get the rest of the cars once this adventure was over and I had been chosen. Carl and I raced down the roads (except for the time we got stuck behind a local retard) and dropped off the car. Then we raced back up the road. Everyone was waiting in the water when we got back, they were sloping ungodly amounts of sunscreen on each other. It looked like some kind of Hawaiian Tropic Special Olympics! I then realized that I would neigh apply that sad excuse for clown make up on my beautiful body! I slid into the water and the warm temperature engaged the sudden primitive need to urinate in the water…but I could hold it…after all we had all day.