Monday, January 19, 2009

Thank you, Laura

I love NPR. I listen to it on the radio, and I download just about every podcast I can find. Today I found that I had somehow missed a podcast subscription to, “Radio Diaries.” I immediately downloaded everything iTunes had to offer, hit play, and settled in to do my Math homework.

“My So-Called Lungs: Laura Rothenberg is 21 years old, but, as she likes to say, she already had her mid-life crisis a couple of years ago, and even then it was a few years late…. “

I half listened to the narrators’ introductory description, as I began to write out my math problems. In the typical dramatic tone the narrator continued to explain how Laura has cystic fibrosis, “a genetic disorder that affects the lungs and other organs,” and that she had recorded her struggle via a tape recorder. Her story began at 11:02 pm, in room 104 of her hospital. She briefly mentioned her years of experience with the comings and goings of the hospital, its procedures, and staff. She seemed very light hearted and knowledgeable, as she told of her early childhood dealings with CF, and her childhood friends. Then the tone of her tale began to lilt, as she listed off the friends she has lost, Gina at 13 years old, Damien at 17 years, Niki, Tamesha, Elizabeth, Sophie in 11th grade, and Marcie “this past summer.”

Seduced by her sadness, candor, humor, and honesty, I listened with undivided attention. I will not attempt to recapture, or distil, the tale I listened to for those 22 minutes. I will say that I wept, I wept like I haven’t wept in years. This young woman faced her death at every turn. In the face of this great adversity, she did everything she could to live, and experience, a “normal” life. My heart went tight as I heard the anger and sadness Laura’s frail voice held, as she explained her frustration with being stuck in her room (she was 19 years old) while her friends went to parties and plays. “Unfair’ doesn’t even come close to describing it.

It often becomes a laughable cliché when a person, or persons, tell their tale in an effort to touch the world around them. Sometimes these brave souls find a chink in our egocentric armor, and they get inside. It’s that place within us all, sealed up by years of mind numbing cynicism. Those few that get in gently touch our naked humanity, as if they know how tender and soft we are on the inside. And Laura Rothenberg's story touched me deeply. I looked online to find a way to help, to send a donation perhaps, and hopefully to say thank you. But I found Laura had died, on March 20th 2003, after just turning 22. The podcast, was a re-broadcast.

So, I am going to donate to the Children’s Hospital Trust, in her name. It’s the least I can do, and it’s my way of saying thank you. Thank you so much, Laura.